(to the tune of I am a lumberjack)
Chorus
Gavin is a lumberjack and he climbs treesAnd spends all day with the birds and leaves
Kathy is an officer who keeps pet hens
And she sells eggs to all her friends
When Kathy was a student-- she learned biology
She loved to grow organic vegetables for her tea
One day when on a field trip--she disappeared from view
She sank into a smelly bog and all her mates said phew!
Now Gavin takes them camping -- he's got the smoothest gear
He also needs to take a lot of sun cream for his ears
If he is in the tent and taken short during the night
He’s even got a pee – pot and just hopes his aim is right.
Chorus
We know Kathy works in-- environmental health stalks restaurants in Mardol-- and frightens them to deathBut now she works for government in fact the M.O.D.
To make sure that our soldiers don’t eat cockroaches for tea.
Now Gavin in his’stella days 'was drinking quite a lot
And what he did he can't recall-- in fact he quite forgot
He went on gladiators to try to win a prize
Bust up with gladiator wolf resulted in demise.
Chorus
Now Kathy's good behaviour-- is never seen to slackExcept when loudly raving--on strong snakebite and black
She is so very organised --and bosses us about.
She likes to stand in windows and flash her bum and shout.
Gavin climbs like a monkey and hangs around in trees
But deep inside this tender man went down on bended knees
He took Kath to the Scilly Isles for marriage to propose
An actual scilly question to his girl called Kathy rose
Chorus
One day when Kath went swimming she forgot to take her stuffShe went in just her bra and pants-- which wasn’t quite enough
When they got wet we all could see exactly what she’d got,
Which caused the boys to cross their legs-- and stare an awful lot
And now you two are married--we send our love to you
And hope you have a happy life --also your chickens too
We hope you have some offspring – some little lumberjacks
And instead of cuddly teddy bears you give each one an axe!
Chorus
For you from Allan 28/5/05
